Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
