I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
