One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
