Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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