Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
