he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize