I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
