I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
