Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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