Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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