STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You dont lie about slip and slides
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
