NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
