i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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