I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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