All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
