No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
