yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
