The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
