I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
