Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
