Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
