you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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