i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize