It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
