apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They took my balls.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
