We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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