Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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