well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
