Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
