He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
