so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
