I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
