Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
