Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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