your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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