ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
