Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
