I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
