i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
