make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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