omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
