You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
