i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
