the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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