Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
