Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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