Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
