did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
