my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
