I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
