I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
