Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
