6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
