Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
