I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
