Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
