Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
zippers are such a cool invention
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
