Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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