If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
