smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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