I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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