Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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