Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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