I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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