note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
