remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
