we have officially lost it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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