She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
