Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
